Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Slow dancing with a fat girl? More like moving a fridge by yourself.
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
All alcohol will make my clothes fall off… tequila just makes that happen in public.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.