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I end a lot of my sentences with "just saying`, because saying, "you idiot" is considered offensive.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
If you wake up with a chick and you dont know her name, take her to starbucks, they`ll write it on the cup.