Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you look in the mirror and say "Taylor Swift" three times, she magically appears then breaks up with you. What do u know next? You`re a song!
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"