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If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you`re angrily chasing him.
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.