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Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.