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My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
Let`s face it. Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African safari.
Don’t jump to confusions.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.