Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
If you knew what I considered to be my "best behavior" it`s doubtful you`d advise me to be "on it".
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
Why is it that whenever you dial a wrong number, somebody always answers?
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.