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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
I was gonna call you... but I`m still sober.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.