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So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective