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The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...