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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
you know that awkward moment when you think someone`s talking to you so you reply to them and then they look over at you with that disgusted facial expression that says "wtf ..no"
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.