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Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
Care less and you’ll stress less.
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.