Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so f*ck off
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
For Christmas I just want summer...
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.