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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t.
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
When a man talks dirty to a woman it`s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it`s $3.95 per minute.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers make any f*cking sense.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
is procastinating now. Don´t see why I should put it off.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.