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Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
If I was a funeral director, I would tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.Then the zombie apocalypse would be hilarious.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
Me and my recliner...we go way back.
Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.