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You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
i feel naked without my mobile !
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
Don’t jump to confusions.
I hope Breaking Bad ends with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
The fact that I start clapping every time someone says "Please give me a hand" is only like the number 6 reason I dont have friends.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I KNOW HOW TO HIDE A DEAD BODY
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.