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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
"Good for you!" means, "I do not consider you a threat" in woman-speak.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
Whenever you feel nobody cares or loves you. You should ask yourself...Am I TOO sexy?
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-