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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
Warranty ā A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
Been there, done that. allegedly
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
Is it bad when Iām talking to myself and Iām not even listening?
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.