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WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
"May the 4th" be with you!
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
You know what the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you`re not in shape for it, it`s too far to walk back.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|