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Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
I`m always amazed that when tragedy strikes how quickly people on Facebook become experts on the subject no matter what it is.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.