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Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
The most expensive part of having kids is all the booze I drink.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b