Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to Chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!!
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.