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Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.