Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t exercise ... fat people are harder to kidnap
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.