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never be afraid to wipe twice
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
In space they just call it "Jam"
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
A morning text from me doesn`t mean "good morning". It means "I`m having very dirty thoughts about you right now".