Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
It was all so different before everything changed.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.