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I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.
I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!
My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
“The darndest things.” -kids
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?