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I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
I wonder if dogs ever wake up in the morning and think "dear god please don`t take me jogging with you today"?
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."