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Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.
If you wake up with a chick and you dont know her name, take her to starbucks, they`ll write it on the cup.