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Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their car keys.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn`t. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.