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Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
Given how enormous the universe is, I assume there’s an alien out there who does a mocking impression of me. Screw you, alien.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
If the shoe fits, buy it.
This day needs more yesterday.
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.