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I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
One of the greatest things about owning a dog is how happy they are to see you even though you just stepped out of the house for 30 seconds.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll probably be like, “Hey, remember when you used to just give me fish?”
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.