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I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
363 shopping days `til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.
You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
lol I rotfl
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."