Daily Silly Status

I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.

Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.

Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.

There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.

If you speak too slowly, I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways that makes your story much more interesting

Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!

If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary

My first crush was in kindergarten. I instantly knew I was doomed when she colored Neatly and Perfectly inside every line with a smug, superior smile

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.

You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"

Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!

I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.

It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..

I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.

Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!