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I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
When I get home the first thing I`m going to do is rip my wife`s panties off. Because they`re too small and the elastic is killing me.
I was on way home this morning when I seen an AA van pulled in and the driver was crying his eyes out. I thought to myself that guy is heading for a breakdown.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
I don`t think stupid people understand how much effort goes into not punching them in the face
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.