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Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "Oh dear, this is going to take more than one night."
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?