Daily Silly Status

I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.

Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.

If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.

How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is

I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.

How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?

You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch

In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.

If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.

I would`ve thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited `til it was dark instead.

Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split

every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with

My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.

Hello, fire department? Is this Mr. February? Yeah, I`m stuck in a tree. Uh, I mean... meooow.