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Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Dear, automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm.... But I wasn`t finished.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
My son said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7,,, and now I`m terrified to go into the bathroom.
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.