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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
My dog was licking his balls. My friend said "I wish I could do that." I said "You better pet him first; he can be mean sometimes."
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.