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The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me all like, “Whoa! That was close!”
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.