Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
When I was a kid... No wait. I still do that.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.