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Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
You can always make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin...just in case
There is no time to check time
I drink coffee for your protection.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.