Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.