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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
Meant to tell my kid "Good night, I love you," but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school tomorrow because this is bullsh!t"
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
Leaving the house on a Monday morning would be so much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action!" as I walk out the door.
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !