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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
The awkward moment when you have 10 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.