Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
You`d think he`d be better at this with all the porn he watches
When someone tells me I`m going to hell, I`m like "yeah, duh, I work there part time as a tour guide!"
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
Better late than pregnant.
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.