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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes