Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
We live in a society that`s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
There are two rules to success in life - 1. Don`t tell people everything you know
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
is ready to have one too many!
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.