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Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
Why do blurry people always ask me if I’m drunk?
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
Whenever you feel nobody cares or loves you. You should ask yourself...Am I TOO sexy?
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer...