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When people said they sleep like a baby, it`s because they do not have one.
I`m horrible with women. Probably because I only know like 3 shades of gray.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
You are wasting your time reading this status.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
Of course morning sex is better. You haven`t spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.