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I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
People keep asking me what my resolutions are, like they can`t see I`m already perfect...
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I`m going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
There has to be an online course that I can take to get over my internet addiction.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.