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Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360